Bittersweet
by ClariceS
Summary: My first ER fanfic.Characters:Dr.Ray BarnettOC.Summary inside.This is the first chapter,chapter 2 will soon be up!Please R&R!


_**Bittersweet**_

Summary:Dr Ray Barnett and his girfriend Sarah get some unexpected news. 

_**Chapter one: Bittersweet discovery.**_

**7 am**

"Ray...Ray..."

"Yes..." Ray mumbled, still half asleep.

"Honey, it' s 7 in the morning, wake up or you will be late..." Sarah gently said in his ear.

Ray slowly woke up, went in the kitchen and sat at the table. Sarah put a big cup of coffee, a piece of toast and some bacon on the table in front of him.

They both sat and ate without speaking for a while.

"So, you're ready for the test?" asked Ray.

"Yeah, I stayed up late to study the last chapters of the Egyptian Art book " replied Sarah. "I hope I'll do well on it."

"I'm sure you will, babe" said Ray getting up from the kitchen chair and kissing Sarah on the forehead.

**8 am**

"So here we go...I am supposed to have lunch break at around 1 o'clock, and I sincerely hope I can make it for that time and have lunch with you" said Ray, hugging Sarah in front of the ER entrance.

"Okay, I'll be done with classes around that time too...I' ll wait for you to finish your shift...have a nice day,darlin' ...I love you ! " Sarah gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

"I love you too and good luck with the test! " said Ray. Ray entered in the ER, and Sarah went to college.

**12.30pm**

"Hello, Sarah! " greeted Neela as she saw Sarah near the ER reception.

"Hey, Neela! Have you seen Ray around? "

"Yeah, he's in Room 2. I' m going to tell him you're here, okay? " said Neela and headed to Room 2.

"Okay, thanks a lot! "replied Sarah.

Few minutes later, Ray arrived and they went for lunch in a small cafè near the hospital. They both ordered hamburgers with fries and Sarah took a piece of carrot cake and a chocolate milshake.

"You seem to be really hungry, don't you " observed Ray.

"Yeah, the test made me really hungry, I guess " said Sarah smiling.

"Speaking of it, how did that test go ?" asked Ray.

"Oh, I think it went pretty good...but it was really hard though...I'll get to know the results next week ," explained Sarah.

They continued to eat. When they were done, they got up and Ray went to pay the bill while Sarah went to the restroom.

"I think I ate too much..." she told Ray, forcing herself to smile and not to make Ray worry.

Sarah wasn't feeling really well; she felt kind of weak and thought refreshing herself up a little might help.

Five minutes later, Ray was still waiting for Sarah near the door,ready to leave the place. Suddenly a waitress came out of the ladies toilet and yelled : " There's a girl on the bathroom floor, I think she fainted ! ".

Ray pushed past the people in the cafe and said: " I'm a doctor! Let me see what has happened! ".

He opened the bathroom door and saw Sarah lying on the floor. He hadn't even thought for a second that it might have been Sarah who was feeling sick. But she was and Ray didn't waste any time; after checking her vitals, he passed an arm under her shoulders and his other arm under her knees, lifted her up and carried her outside. The cafè was not very far from County Hospital and he got there by foot, carring Sarah in his arms.

He opened the ER door shouting to the nearest orderly for a stretcher. As he laid Sarah on the stretcher, she woke up and asked Ray in a thin voice what was happening.

"Honey, you fainted in the bathroom of the cafè, I brought you here at the hospital and we' ll see what's going on. Just relax and do not be afraid, okay babe ? Everything will be fine" Ray said holding Sarah's hand.

Sarah slightly nodded to him. She was feeling really weak and confused. She closed her eyes.

In the meantime they arrived at Room 1. Abby and Dr. Weaver reached Ray.

"So, what we got Dr Barnett ?" asked Dr. Weaver.

Before he had the time to respond, Abby looked at the girl on the stretcher and said: "Oh my god, it's Sarah! "

"Yeah " replied Ray, addressing to Abby and to Dr.Weaver.

"She's my girlfriend, Dr. Weaver and she fainted in a cafè" continued Ray. He was sweating and he was terrified. He had never treated a loved one before and oddly, he didn't know where to begin.

Sarah woke up again.

"Sarah, I'm Dr.Weaver, you are at the County General Hospital" she said, smiling gently. Then she turned to Abby. "Abby, blood gases and saline".

"Ray ? " Sarah called with low voice.

"I'm here, babe, I'm here..." said Ray, coming forward and taking her hand. Sarah looked at him with a weak smile.

Sarah then looked at Dr Weaver and told her : "I remember I wasn't feeling too well...I feel like my head is about to explode..."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, okay?" said Ray trying to reassure her.

"Move her to Room 6" instructed Dr Weaver to the nurse.

"Sarah, we' re going do a couple more tests and then you can go home with Ray, okay ?" said Dr Weaver.

"I'll come back again in a hour or so to check how you're doing" continued Dr Weaver as she left Room 1.

Two nurses moved Sarah from Room 1 to 6, which was a little bit more private. Ray sat by her bed, watching her sleep and thinking: "_I had never been so scared in all my life...when I saw her lying on the floor...her soft red hair on the ground...her eyes closed...I'll never forget that moment..."_

Little by little, Ray lost his path of thoughts as the stress of the day caught up with him and fell asleep with his head on one side of Sarah's bed.

Dr .Weaver woke him up a hour later.

"Dr. Barnett, I have the results for Sarah' s tests " announced Dr.Weaver.

In that moment Sarah woke up too. She smiled to Ray who leaned toward and kissed her. She responded to his kiss with a gentle caress on his cheek.

"Sarah, I was just telling to Ray that I got the results for your tests" told Dr.Weaver to the couple.

"Well, low blood pressure caused you to faint this morning. But that's not a big problem. Actually, what I'm going to tell you should not be considered a problem but pure joy. You' re five weeks pregnant, Sarah. Congratulations to both of you !"

Ray and Sarah looked at each other. Sarah was happy and very excited and she was nearly crying. Ray was happy too and hugged and kissed Sarah.

"I think I should leave you both alone now..." said Dr Weaver with a touch of embarassment in her voice.

Sarah kept hugging Ray and she couldn't express how happy she was.

Ray hugged back Sarah and told her : "Well, I think it' s time to go home now . I' ll call a nurse to help you get dressed and to give you your purse and books back".

"Okay, thank you! "said Sarah. She was radiant.

_"I'm about to be a father"_ Ray thought while he was waiting for Sarah. He somewhat felt terrified about having a family now. He was still young. There are bills to pay, so many things to buy for the baby...how could they afford all of that?

" Wanna go home ? " asked Sarah.

"Sure, honey" answered Ray with a smile.

"We have to celebrate tonight! Oh, and I have to call mom and tell her everything!" Sarah exclaimed. Then she went on and on with her ramblings.

Ray smiled and said "Oh yes" and "as you like, honey" at the right times, but he was seriously thinking if he would really want this baby.

_'I' ll talk to her when we are home' _thought Ray to himself.

**Ray and Sarah's apt-8pm**

Ray closed the apartment door behind him. Sarah came and sat on the couch with still her coat on. Sarah was strangely quiet.

"A penny for your thoughts" he said quietly.

Sarah smiled. "Oh, nothing special. I was just thinking about the baby nursery. Our bedroom is too small and the baby will need his bed and his box and toys..."

Ray came up and sat by her side on the couch. He took Sarah' s hands in his, looked firmly in her eyes. " Sarah, honey...Do you really want to keep this child ? I mean, you' re only 22 and you are still in college...I' m still an intern at the hospital...how can we afford to raise a child ? And what will your parents and my parents think about all this stuff?".

Sarah, as she heard Ray talking that way, instinctively put a hand on her belly.

"How can you say such things! " she yelled at Ray. She was furious. "I do not want to kill this child... I just don't want to... I' ve always been against this kind of things and I am not gonna do it now."

"I don't want to either, honey, but..."Ray started, but Sarah interrupted him.

"I don't want to hear your excuses anymore! You are a doctor, you are supposed to save and defend life, not to destroy it. I' m going to bed now, I feel pretty tired. Goodnight, Ray" she concluded in an icy voice.

Ray remained awake for the whole night, sitting on the couch, thinking about Sarah and the words she told him.

**The next morning**

Sarah woke up early as usual and found Ray asleep on the couch with the tv still on. She cooked pancakes and then she went to wake Ray up. They both had breakfast without exchanging a single word. Later on that day, Ray called Sarah on her cell phone.

"_Hello?"_

_"Sarah, it' s me. My shift is over and I' d like to talk to you about what we discussed yesterday "._

_"Uhm... okay ...I' ll be home in half an hour. See you there."_

Sarah hung up the phone and Ray went home.

**Ray and Sarah's apt**

Sarah opened the door to the apartment and found Ray inside waiting for her. He was sitting at the kitchen table. Sarah sat too. Ray was the first to speak.

"Sarah, I' m terribly sorry for what I told you yesterday. You can't imagine how sorry I am. I love you very much and you mean everything to me and the last thing I want to do is hurt you". He took a deep breath. "Knowing that you' re expecting a child, _my_ child made me really happy and proud. But... think about it for a minute, Sarah. Do you really want to give up college and everything else? Do you really want to sacrifice your dreams and plans for the future? Please, you have to think about that too. Having and raising a child bring a lot of responsibilities".

Sarah sighed. "I know that , Ray. I know it pretty well. And I always take my responsibilities seriously. I've always dreamed of having a family and children. And the time has come now. Sure, we didn't really plan this, but it happened. And I won't give up anything. There's plenty of mothers who work and have a family" explained Sarah.

"Looks like you've already decided, then. Seeing you so sure gives me strength and I know we can make it work" said Ray.

Sarah leaned to give him a long kiss.

"I am sure we can make it, Honey...this baby will have a happy and secure family" assured Sarah with a smile.

That night, they fell asleep in each other's arms, full of hope for a bright future ahead of them.

_**End of chapter one**_


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